This originally was going to be a regular OOTD post, however I’ve decided to open to you guys about the frustrations that I encountered while shooting this outfit. I wasn’t planning on sharing my inner-most thoughts and insecurities with ya’ll, but there’s a first for everything, right? I’m hoping that whoever is reading this can hopefully relate and learn something from what I’m went through.
As a fashion blogger I try to showcase my style in the best way possible, however not all the times will my looks be “perfect” no matter how hard I try to make it that way. A few weeks ago I shot this look which I love but upon seeing the pictures I hated how it looked. The pencil skirt wasn’t flattering at all on me. The first thought that came to mind was, “I can’t wear pencil skirts because of my stomach isn’t flat.” Progressively the more I took pictures the less I wanted to be shot, which you can see in some pictures. I already over analyze everything so adding this issue into brain made it worst to the point that I started getting down on myself. I will be the first to admit that I can be my worst enemy at times.
Nonetheless I have had issues with my weight growing up and although I was never teased about my weight, I was still a bit apprehensive about my body. Society tries to push this idea that all women should be skinny and that anything bigger than a size 6 is not sexy. It has gotten a little bit better since the early 00’s, but its still something that is pushed in our faces regardless if its not as blatant as before. Interestingly enough, I was reading my friend Monica’s blog, Jersey Girl, Texan Heart
and she was feeling the same way. Mind you she is way smaller than me but someone told her that if “you are bigger than a size 4, you are consider plus sized.” Seriously? You can read about that story here
. After I read her blog post I text her and let her know that I was going through the same feelings. We were talking about it and she told me that I should read Girl with Curves
blog, because Tanesha is a curvy girl and she owns it! I took a look at her blog and don’t do see any doubt in her face; she is owning it and nobody can tell her nothing! I envy that confidence a bit because I still get discouraged, yet I know that I should not beat myself up about it. It’s all about dressing for your body type when it comes down to it., which is something I’m learning to do. It’s all about trial and error and finding out what works for you. If it doesn’t work for you, oh well. Remember it’s just clothes. It doesn’t dictate who you are or how you should feel about yourself. After awhile when I thought about it, it was a bit ridicoulous how I reacted over a damn pencil skirt! I’m human and not all the times will I feel confident about my body. I’m pretty sure Beyoncé doesn’t look in the mirror and thinks she looks fabulous everyday or Kim K. It’s life.
Okay now that I rambled and gotten this off my chest, I hope this post will help someone who is struggling with body issues and self-esteem. Believe me its not an easy road. It’s something I still struggle with, but before I get down on myself I remember all the reasons I love my body. You have to focus on the positive so that the negative doesn’t come through. I am going to keep this skirt (because I really wanted to return/give it away) and rock it with a smile on my face. I wish someone would say something to me about it so that I can tell them to go eff themselves!
Apologies for the long post but I just had to write about it. I hope you guys have an awesome Monday!